Pioneers

Oh pioneers.

Come my blue-jeaned children.

Follow well in order. Have you your denim? Have you your material goods?

Pioneers, oh pioneers!

For we cannot learn poetry,

We must watch TV my darlings, we must use our credit cards.

We the youthful, sinewy races, the survival of poetry is wasted on us.

Pioneers, oh pioneers!

O you youths, Western youths,

so impatient, full of texting, full of facebook friendship,

Plain I see you Western youths, see you tramping Whitman.

Pioneers! O pioneers!

The Fabulous Miss Patty Paws

     Seven or eight years ago I went to Petsmart. I was going to adopt a kitten. A little, fuzzy, cuddly kitten. Instead, I came home with this:

A fat, sassy, adult cat that I got at a discount. She was the perfect cat for me. Some people she liked, some she didn't and if she didn't like you, she would give you the death stare. If she did like you, she would reward you by sitting her large self on your lap.

She also became inspiration for my husband's drawings. She's been featured in several cartoons (I wish I had an electronic version of Yentl Paws!), she's been on bookmarks, and on dishes.

Patty Paws tolerated being harassed by vets, the roomba, and even a kitten.

Patty was large, in charge, and even if she wasn't the nicest cat, she had character. 

She greeted me this morning and gave her my usual pats and questions. She then went to lay under the bed (one of her favorite spots) and her little heart finally gave out.

I will miss my little Patticus, the PP, the Paws, my little Patty.

It is not working as I planned.

 I planned to blog about how I did a nice thing and made my parents white chicken chili for them at their house. Then I was going to talk about how on the drive home the leftover chili spilled all over the book I was reading, The White Queen and isn't it funny that the white queen is covered in white chili.  The story didn't end there though. So this book (that I had borrowed from a friend) was now covered in yummy chicken broth and cream and chickeny goodness and how Furmosa thought that this book was a treat just for her. She proceeded to eat a corner of the book and how all of this happened because I did something nice.

To end this post-that-would-have-been I was going to show a picture of the much mangled book. I went to get the book and this happens:

That's the doorknob on the floor and the door is closed. I can't seem to get in. I'm sure if I really tried I could get the door open but why when the husband will be home in less than 30 minutes?

Before Amy hunts me down.

The title has nothing to do with the post. I just wanted my niece to know that I did not forget about my blog and I take her reprimands seriously.

I've been thinking about vegetables. I'm in favor of most vegetables (brussel sprouts can bite it) but I need new ideas on how to cook them (not you brussel sprouts, stay away). I'm not opposed to cooking vegetables, I am not a raw foodist. And besides brussel sprouts, oh, and green peppers, I really enjoy the vegetables.

Corn, zucchini, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, green beans, sugar snap peas, regular peas, lettuce, spinach, cabbage, celery, radish, squash, avocado, cucumber, artichoke, jicama, any type of potato...

I need healthy, new ways to cook (or not cook) and eat these vegetables. Since no one really comments, I'm not sure how I'll get new ideas from all you non-commenting readers (and I know all 5 of you personally!) but I'm putting it out there in the universe. (After my last post about the dreaded job, things changed drastically, the old boss was moved and demoted. So maybe if I put my vegetable problem out in the world, a cookbook of vegetables will fall into my lap.) Stranger things have happened.

I love to hate you.

There are a few things about my job that I like and only one thing that I love about it. And what I love about it is that it gives me great reasons to complain. Everyone complains about their job but until you've had a truly terrible boss, you really don't know what it is like to have a real reason to whine.

Let's run down a few things about the work situation that are less than ideal.

1. No jeans unless it is a special designated day and then you have to pay $5.

2. No matter how clear you make something, it is never enough...ever...seriously, EVER.

3. Virtually everyone in the company dislikes the person that runs your department and they all make you pay for this person's bad attitude.

4. Rules change daily without warning. You don't know until you break the rule that it has been changed and then you don't know when it reverts back again.

5. NO POPCORN AT YOUR DESK!!! Unless you run the department, then please, feel free to bring it on up for everyone to smell.

6. YOU MAY NOT WEAR HEADPHONES AT YOUR DESK  (we don't want to raise our voice to have to speak to you), YOU MAY NOT EAT AT YOUR DESK IF IT REQUIRES A SPOON OR FORK (or if it smells, i.e. popcorn), YOU MAY NOT EVER WATCH A VIDEO ON THE INTERNET (even if you are at lunch, but you aren't allowed to stay at your desk at lunch and get on the internet because then people might think you are just goofing off and not working, so better just move it along elsewhere).

7. If you must take time off then please take the whole day off because it is easier for coworkers to cover your workload for 8 hours instead of 2-4 hours. (This has been put in writing.)

8. If you have to leave 15 minutes early, too bad for you. Do not ask to make your lunch 15 minutes shorter to compensate either, that is too difficult for everyone to understand and is really too much to expect a supervisor to deal with.

9. Again if you absolutely must take off work (and really there is no reason ever that you should have to take off) then please give 3 business days notice. Also, you may only have the day off if there is no one else in your 25 person department that has already asked off. Please remember that more than 2 days off in a row is a huge burden on everyone and while we might grant it, we will passive aggressively hint that this is unacceptable.

10. If you must be sick, have a family member die, give birth, have major surgery, or have a household catastrophe, DO NOT DO IT THE LAST WEEK OF THE FISCAL YEAR!!

How could anyone not love to hate this job? All of these statements are based on real events I have witnessed. How can I ever leave such a wonderful place? Luckily the economy sucks and there are no jobs out there so I don't have to worry about leaving for a long, long time.